Saya diam kan saja. Orang nak buat apa-apa, buatlah, asal jangan melampau sangat.
Saya tak kesah jika saya terpaksa mengalah, tetapi saya kesah bila saya rasa sudah
dipermainkan orang.

Ya. Itu saya kesah.
Saya tak paksa dan tidak bertanya bukan bermakna saya tiada rasa ingin tahu tetapi
saya rasa semua orang perlukan masa.

Tapi tak kesah lah.
Nasib baik saya masih consider apa-apa yang orang lain fikir. Walaupun akan berkata-
kata "Cara kamu langsung tak macam orang yang kesah."

Jawapan saya senang. Awak tak mahu sudahlah. Siapalah saya dalam hidup setiap insan
di luar sana. Saya hina. Saya BELUM cukup positf. Saya BELUM cukup matang.

Maafkan saya. Ampunilah aku, Ya Allah kerana menyakiti hati hambaMu yang kau Cipta :"((

Always be

Summer after high school when we first metWe make out in your Mustang to RadioheadAnd on my 18th BirthdayWe got matching tattoos
Used to steal your parents' liquorAnd climb to the roofTalk about our futureLike we had a clueNever planned that one dayI'd be losing you

Currently, this is favourite one. Even the ringtone I am using it. What a funny one. 

I'm just into the lyrics about friendship, the "I've lost" and the "I still have". Depends on individu. Others around me considered this song for the broken heart, but as for me, no nedd jiwang jiwang okayh? Haha a bit, but now out of the story. I miss them. So sudden. 

I go to school eversince standard 1, kindergarten not count. But during my years from Form 1 till Form was the best ever. I am not a boarding school's student yet at that time. Just daily governments school. But I have been enjoyed the life. 

Wake up early in the morning, walk to school for 2 Km something. But it was fun. And even sometimes bumped into some friends. Ride on her bicycle together. That just very sweet moments.

If bumped with the guys, I ran away. Haha act like shy but I dunno actually. Come to think of it, am I supposed to feel shy even with my classmates? But its me. 

And also during this 3 years period, I have just GOOD memoirs about something that I never wanted to back to me. Yeah, now we are friend instead.

And remembered,  when few guys want walk home with me. But this one I remembered most.

"Farhana, "F" nak jalan balik ngan kau skali."

I just smiled and straight back home. Let them be. 

Tapi, Hanya Allah yang tahu. Deep inside.

"Boleh tak kau blah skarang? Rimas. Aku tak suka macam ni."

Kind of weird. Tapi sebabkan rumah kami beza lorong je. Redha je lah. Now, when we both make up the story back. We both laughed.

 Girls

 Guys

We :))

Second, go to Maktab's life. Nothing special here except weird people. And I learned a lot about Islam. 

I have found my best friend here. But f1-f3 still the best ever.

I have hard time being here for 6 months early. I wanted to go out. But I know my parents would never agree. So I kept it inside. I never success with that. But somehow I learned something here.

I miss MRSM Kuantan. Even not the school. I miss Bandar Kuantan. I wish to go there. 

Even we called it "bandar", we have pantai there. So nice. There coldness like winter. 

Subhanallah I miss it.

 Form 5 classmates

 Form 4's

hrmmm...

Next is Matriculation. 

Here, I changed a bit. Less talk, less noise. Sit in front of table. But still enjoy life here.

But langit tak selalu cerah, kita harap panas sampai ke petang, tapi hujan turun. Tapi hujan itu bukan lah teruk sgt, Allah nak bagi pelangi :)

Second semester ruined everything. I never expect I would ever do that in life. But things happens for reasons.

Haha, the funny part is, Kafe B. I miss it. Not the food. But the "the". 

 classmates 

 last day

I am the last one check out at my aras.

And now. Here I am today. Perlis. 

No exact group I join. I ahve my friend, Yaya. We just move together. I don't like grouping. Doesn't matter if I don't get the latest gossip(s). 

Grouping weird. We have the Group BUDAK KECIK, Group "apetah" n Group chinese.

My class not even 50 r maybe 40, but have this many groups? Kind of weird. So whenever any invitation by any group, I won't join. Unless we are unite.

They are not my classmate. They are SUKSIS. no grouping. We are ONE even we are 65 of us. But this just small group during the orientation.

I am not choose my friend

I just being friendly with all

I am not finding best friend(s)

They come to me as the time is right

till then, Wsalam :)

mine

Its getting longer and longer like zaman maktab and matrix.
But wait until final, ready go home and make it short again :)

Haha save a lot money for that.

p/s langkawi? RM130? worth k korang? Thinking...

Mengarot~

Taknak BISING lagi boleh?

Boleh, aku buat u bising balik.

Tapi itu cara aku Buat u XSEMBUNYI ape2 depanku.

Taknak KACAU orang lagi?

Boleh, aku pon xsuka u kacau orang, u main2 and kacau2 xape tp sometimes over a bit. U xperasan pon.

Tapi itu cara aku BERKAWAN bkn u. Jadi aku jd pendiam.

Taknak MENANGIS lagi?

Boleh, tunggu aku.

Tapi aku kesah u perasan x? I just boleh diam.

Taknak SAKITKAN HATI orang lagi?

Boleh, ikot aku jd budak2, tp jgn buat childish things. :P

Tapi sebelum u sakitkan hati orang, fikirkn ape akan berlaku. Aku boleh tahan selagi aku masih wujud dalam dunia ni. Haha :P (*choi 好的来), orang lain xjamin. Tp jgn! Before u make a decision, please ask ur parents or me :P, jgn xsabar terus buat je, then…something will happen. Don’t let it happen.

Taknak MALAS lagi?

Boleh, ikot aku jd rajin sikit, haha, although my look seems like lazy, but I’m planed all my daily activities, no timetable, timetable inside my mind.

Tapi my selekeh style not suitable for u, but I’m not too over la… :P

Taknak BERPALING lagi?

Boleh, tgk dia bkn muka,tgk belakang dia ada ape, like tat easy to solve la….

Tapi jgn rasa xpuas hati, xberani atau segan berdepan dgn seseorang selain u ada buat salah. Faham? :)

Taknak TERLALU percaya?

Boleh, jgn peduli pandangan orang lain la…BE YOURSELF!

Tapi percaya sikit orang yang kesah u. Kesian budak tu, if u pon xpercaya.

Tapi tapi tapi.
Takkan pernah berhenti BERHARAP dan MEMINTA dalam keadaan yang sebaik-baiknya.
Aku HARAP...
aku mampu buat
aku mampu bertahan
aku mampu diam
aku mampu melepaskan
aku mampu berhenti
dan aku mampu LEBIH KUAT :))

p/s: letih. dibiarkan. Tapi dh biasa. :))

merapek~

Taknak BISING lagi boleh?
Tapi itu cara untuk SEMBUNYI sebenarnya.

Taknak KACAU orang lagi?
Tapi itu cara aku BERKAWAN.

Taknak MERNAGIS lagi?
Tapi ada orang kesah? Haha

Taknak SAKITKAN HATI orang lagi?
Tapi tak tahu macam mana.

Taknak MALAS lagi?
Tiada TAPI untuk ini.

Taknak BERPALING lagi?
Sedang cubalah. Insyaallah TIDAK.

Taknak TERLALU percaya?
Tapi itu yang MEREKA harapkan.

Tapi tapi tapi.
Takkan pernah berhenti BERHARAP dan MEMINTA dalam keadaan yang sebaik-baiknya.
Aku HARAP...
aku mampu buat
aku mampu bertahan
aku mampu diam
aku mampu melepaskan
aku mampu berhenti
dan aku mampu LEBIH KUAT :))

p/s penat.ditinggalkan. tapi biasalah :)