i am not going to take anything serious
because :mama ckp it might be good for you,

betul jugak, sebab say jenis org yang bila dh byk berkorban, and once I get something like hadiah dr Allah,
kononya nak jaga. Taknak hilang.
Tapi jangan sampai rugikan diri sendiri.
Actually tak pernah fikir diri sendiri saja.
TAK pernah. (biar pun org fikir macam tu)
Just, aku selalu ambil jalan di mana, kalau aku jatuh, yang kena tinggal yang mungkin sukar untuk pulih, hanya aku.
Tapi itulah namanya hidup.
Tapi itulah namanya risiko.

Yang terakhir kalinya.

Aku janji tak kan cakap pasal ni lagi.
Insya-Allah.

Heart attack :''(((

Salam..

*(Hi..)


I just gonna say, the problems ain't gonna stop. Before, I thought that life without problems is messed me up.
But now, when life is without anything even just for bit longer would be so much fun.

*(I just gonna say, whether the problems want to stop or not, we need to face it all. Now? life without anything would be so much fun? I'm tell you, you are just hiding your problems, and afraid to solve it. Don't worry, I'll always stand beside you, any problem just find me, I try to solve for you. You just need appreciate my efforts, that's really enough for me. :) )



There are reasons why I can't talk. Problem is always me. It will always be me. The one who less asking. hrmm,,even I cant bear to type the "haha" now.

*(You need to talk or ask, always. I know why you can't talk, you just need time to adapt yourself, so I always try to guide you talk. It's really good way to let you talk.)



I thought that you would ever change, but maybe not. I can't put high expectation on you. That is my worst one. I should ask when I wondered something.

*(High expectation? expect me tell you everything? I'm done it, but you didn't realize it. My brain is not good in memory. Maybe you can say me give you reasons, but I tell u, it's true, sometimes I feel sad about it, really disappointed to myself. Why sometimes I repeat many times in talk or advice, I scare I'll forget to remind you. One way can solve this problem is you can ask me which part you not understand or not clear, my mind will flash out back all the things. )



During the night at Langkawi, when you say ur aunt called you. I have the bad feelings. The food suddenly no taste (yeah, it is sucks) but I choose not to ask. And I can say that there are alooott means alooottt that you could hide from me. It doesn't mean that I don't understand what you guys conversing about I have always the RIGHT to STAND and DO NOT KNOW anything.

*(Night? Tom Yam? sweetie~ the Tom Yam not nice la~ tasteless~ not your feelings affect you. I NEVER hide anything from you. Am I not say anything that night after the call? As usual, she just ask me where am I and what I'm doing, you want to know, you can ask me. Why you don't want to ask me? You afraid to ask me? You ask me, takot sy xsuke? Takot sy terasa? Takot sy fikir you ni sngt sibok? Takot sy rasa you control sy, ape2 pon nk ckp gn u? Well, I tell you now, NEVER think like that before. I'll be more happy when you ask me, maybe you can give some help. So, you can understand me well, as I say, my mind too much rubbish, so I need you to help me arrange it well~ Then I'll tell you one by one, why like this, why like that, then relate another topics, blablablabla~ Help me keep it well. :) One day if one day, I forget everything, you can tell me back one by one~  )



I thought of most of the things I discuss with my parents would hurt you. And it all depends on me. Whether I should tell you or not. "He's not here." "He not going to know if I am not telling him." "I could just lie." "I could just hide it." But thing is 'Why am I telling him?'

*(Thanks. Really thanks. Love you so much. This is a part that I want it. :) )



Oh, I do not feel stupid or played or naive to do so. Because I believe I am doing the right things. Hoping that in future I have the goods back.

I am not going to be afraid any more. As if I can stand, I will. But should I tell you about this? Insya-Allah if I have the will to do so.

To tell you that last night, I have a thinking that, even you know, you think how am I can survive until now? But at least I have friends around to cheer me up. But ever since, I am making myself being abandoned. And at least I cried the LEAST. Not as much as I CRY because of you. You say I can't cry alone. You are right. You are responsible for that. Because you responsible for that.

I hope I am not going EVER make you cry (sad is other part) so that in future I am not gonna cry very much anymore. I have no guts to type more. I should end it.

I wake up already at six. Normally no because as I sleep later than 12.30 I won't. But it shows that I couldn't sleep well last night. Totally less than than 3 hours.

Tell you also, I am going to lose you, at least I can say Ahamdulillah that I have such experience from you.

*( Why you are going to lose me? =='' Don't think too much. Be Strong. I'm here. :) )







p/s i never imagine that i would hurt so much like i hurt last night. my heart just like stop pounding. at least, thanks Allah for giving me the chances of how the feelings of loving someone soo deep downside. I am not regret for have the hurt one. 


*(p/s not so like if you related to HIM, sorry~)



always thinking that YES, if anything bad happen, the one who hurt so much is gonna me ad me.

*(never~don't worry~ :) )










*(kit replied)

Bangun lamabat, buat taik gigi. errrkk

Assalamualaikum dunia :)

Bangun sebab dah tak larat. Macam macam mimpi dapat. And tercari cari apakah maksud disebalik mimpi itu.

Saya bukan alim ulama' yang mimpinya selalu benar. Mungkin hanya gangguan dan permainan syaitan semata-mata.

Jadi, ini terbukti yang diri saya masih teruk dan terlalu jauh dari Allah. That is why masih bermain-main dalam alam yang tidak nyata.

Forget about all those dreams yang maybe actually quite best. E! kejap, if yang masuk dalam mimpi tu kawan kita ke, mak bapak kita k, sesape k, itu semua syaitan kan?

Ye k? Nanti nak cari la. Sebab berdasarkan pengetahuan agama yang terlalu cetek ni, syaitan itu boleh menyerupai apa-apa sahaja bentuk kecuali junjungan besar Nabi Muhammad S.A.W. Subhanallah tingginya darjat junjungan kekasih Allah itu.

Rindu rasanya nak duduk di sejadah. Menangis kepada  Allah, minta diampunkan dosa.

Sebagai seorang Muslim aim kita ialah akhirat (itu ap yang orang cakap). But lagi excellent if kita boleh aim dunia dan akhirat. Dunia yang fana ni kan suatu singgahan buat kita. Kalau dekat dunia kita ada masalah, macam mana kita nak dapatkan banyak points untuk akhirat kita?

Itulah tugas aku untuk diri sendiri pada hari ini.

And bangun je mama nampak orang keluar bilik, terus kene panggil. Kemas rumah. Tak habis ngan tu, kita main screw screw rumah jap. Tak cukup lagi?Macam macam lah, padahal baru tengah hari kan?

Splendid! Inilah cuti yang aku cari cari. Hahaha!

Now, nak stop kejap. Malam nak cerita lagi, apa apa yang ak temui untuk hari ini.

Salam Syaaban uols~

:)

Dream?

"Have you dream before?" Ask yourself. Dream really can come true if you really don't work it out? Understand? No? Is it the sentences, "work it out"?
How?
Simple...



1. Make sure you got your direction. Your future job, family, etc.

2. Make sure you got your well attitude. Your future communication, action, etc.

3. Make sure you got your healthy lifestyle. Your future lifespan, condition, etc.

4. Make sure you got your safety lifestyle. Your future safety, insurances, etc.

"Really?" Don't believe me?
Let us see...
Simple...
 


1. Dream house? You can get it when your direction is correct. Your job is very important to you. Want a high salary job? You can get it when your attitude is good. Your action is observing by everyone in this world.

2. Dream wife? Well, that's a good topic. (for me :P)
    If you want a beautiful wife, make sure you had high and steady income. Believe me, most of the beautiful girls in this world will pay more attention to a rich guy.
    If you want a sincere wife, make sure the way you act is matured, NO lie between each other, let both of you understand each other. Try to get some fights and quarrels, and you'll get a more close relationship with her. Because you understand what her needs. (Just how I get my sweetie) :)

3. Dream car? Suit yourself well with enough pocket money, then you'll get it. Buy some insurance when you want to misuse your modified or upgraded car. :D

4. Dream job? Well, don't dream this, today, economics in this world keep on changing. Sometimes the shares are high, sometimes dropped till the least make everyone almost bankrupt. After that, everyone call that month as a black month, like black August happened before. So, never and ever expect the job is high salary, maybe one day, the salary of the cleaner may higher than you. :D




Anymore dreams?

Haha.. got chance, we'll continue next time. See ya. :)





and sorry~my sweetie~merepek kt wall u.... :P

Can't wait for the Ramadhan to visit again.

Before that, nk keluar jap. Jalan2 jap ngan kwn saya.
Puasa? nak puasa elok elok, cari pahala banyak banyak.
Raya? nak raya sederhana. Simpan duit. Normally paling banyak dlm seratus je.
Tak sempat pon kutip banyak banyak.

Then nak jalan jalan kejap before balik universitirion. Siapa yang free sy rembat je.
Jadual pack, so ikut pada yang free je, amek trus, xnak keluar last minutes.
Esok lusa nak balik uni, baru nak enjoy~

Penat~ gtg :)

I would like to talk about...

A'Salam,,

Assalamualaikum, and a very fine evening to u'ols,,, As I sit here (commonly, as I stand here). I would to grab this most valuable chances to talk to you about LUCKY.

Why? Am I lucky enough? The answer is always YES!

First of all, I am very LUCKY as I am born in a family of Muslims. Totally I can say I am LUCKY. Let me tell ya, my grandmother (mama side) purely Chinese from China (no proud please) and as if nenek Ton NOT a muslimah, am today maybe not. And maybe nenek not marry to arwah atok too. Hahaha.

And to tell you that bukan senang nak dapat Hidayah dari Allah. Totally hanya those yang selected shj. And most of it, Allah cakap siapa mak hidayah , CARI, bukan tunggu! Just.. (mkn sushi jap~) ok, just like you want a million dollar, you have to go for it. (mls nk bebel ag)

...bukak msg jap...

2. I am LUCKY to have myself

Even I am not perfect. I no beautiful, I am NO smart person. I am worst at being SOCIALIZE with people. I worst at treating well my love one. I am worst at most thing. But I am lucky that I am NOT having any serious illness. Alhamdulillah.

But I am totally sad, that nowadays, I kept hearing that they talk like I do not deserve most things.
Tp selagi aku mampu bertahan dengan apa-apa yang aku mahukan dalam hidup, aku bertahan. Like paling lama aku pernah bertahan is 5 years for something. It does come, I have for awhile, but Allah knews what's best for me. Let it go.

3. LUCKY to have my family

Family can be considered as group of people . Yes. I am lucky to have them. Especially mama and baba. Alhamdulillah, sihat lagi tuu~ Mama tempat cerita problem. Bab? tempat mintak duit. Abang? tempat minx belanja (ye~ la sgt kan? ==") Adk2 untuk dibuli. But things is, family ialah orang yang paling faham kita, dan sedia betulkan kita. Bukan untuk kepetingan mereka, tapi untuk kita. Sebab family akan gembira bila lihat sesama dia happy.. ye x? Percayalah. Because saya pon macam tu.

4. I am infinitely LUCKY to have Kit

Dia bukan Kit-kat yang boleh didapati di 7-eleven dengan harga 2 hengget itu dua batang dan habiskan. Tapi ketahuilah, wahai aku yang die juga punyai hati dan perasaan yang harus aku jaga. Sebagaimana dia menjaga hati aku (ye k?) dan memberi terlalu banyak bantuan kepada aku. Mungkin aku harus tahu dan wajib tahu bukan mudah juga untuk aku bersamanya. Banyak yang sentiasa mendatang. Bagi kau pula, jangan sangka aku di sini sentiasa dalam sungai yang mengalir tenaang. Aku juga mengharungi arus yang deras sama seperti kau. Cuma kau sudah terlalu banyak yang kau lalui. Aku cuba hilangkan sedikit daripada pengtahuan kau.

Terima kasih kerana masih bertahan. Sayang ~

5. Lucky To Have my 2 best friends.
6.Lucky to have my study
7.Lucky to have all the ni'mat Allah granted for me.
8.Lucky that I noticed that I am LUCKY to have everything.
last but not least  I am lucky for having so much thing that I have wish for so long and I have the every single chances to have and feel it. Alhamdulillah :))

That's all from me. Let me hear some from you. Tooddles. Assalamualaikum.

this already be last post for days but I am still that proud :/
regret but I can't return to those back.
pray for myself :\

A sweet walk~

Location : Pulau Langkawi, Kedah

Ferry's seats

Day : 2 days trip
1st day,

• wake up around 7:30 a.m.
• tired. (just finish final exam for sem 2, but my sweetie not yet :P)
• actually no mood walk walk. (can't answer paper well, maybe worse :P )
• my mind still think like this, "maybe u go there, u will be more relax.", "really?", my mind keep on arguing itself. Stress~ "ok, I give a try!"
• call my sweetie go together. (actually plan for her, after that we have 2 months more sem break, a long time we'll not meet each other~)
• we took taxi to jetty Kuala Perlis in Perlis at 9:30 a.m.
• ferry fee to Pulau Langkawi -- RM 18 per person for one way.
• ferry in air-condition, so cold and cool~
• ferry's seats a bit narrow, but for who is short-leg person, maybe u will feel wide.
• around 1 hour 30 minutes reach island.
• rent a car -- RM 50 per day. (cheap!)
• lunch settled in McDonald. (long time no eat after come to Perlis, delicious!!)
• drive everywhere and take a look the whole island.
• Four Point Resort -- free swimming pool, free beach seats, and free parking. :P

Four Point Resort's beach seat



Haha! Haha! Hahaha!

• dinner settled in mamak stall, prices still reasonable.

2nd day,

eh?smthg there..

• wake up late. (actually I wan go to watch sunrise, but too tired)
• breakfast settled at McDonald again.
• almost whole day spent at Pantai Cenang.
• jetski -- RM 100 per 30 mins. (expensive for me, still as a student) (I want play, but my sweetie blocked me...hehe, tnx a lot, sweetie)

focus in sea shells picking :P

• lunch settled in Kenny Roger Roasted Chicken. (so full! so delicious! so expensive!)
• last station... Jetty Langkawi...

What are u looking at? huh?!

People  would says something they might not mean it.

Berkawan  biar ramai, tapi jangan cari musuh.
For me, we never intended to do so, but we do so.
I am not making enemies. I am naking them (friends) away from me. I have weakness where I can't put friends with my family, the closest one wif my family, the closest one wif my friends.

I am really can't. But things are ARE.

My family. The closest one. My best friend (s) and then friends (who I spend more and tell more).
I am not touched when they forget me when they are planning (as they know I won't go, IF I were at their place I would still invite, MANNERS) but I am a bit touched.

I hate when they rather talk behind the scene instead like me talk ahead (SOMETIMES).
I hate especially when they are comparing me BEHIND THE SCENE.
I hate when they do wrong but pointing to others.
I hate a lot because I try reducing it.

But what I hate more when other friend tlak BAD about me and they add some more. NAD DO NOT TELL ME.

What for???
Is the talk will make me any better? No!  Unless to tell me. Or you rather me stay be like that and be bad all time. Then talk again behind the scene that I am repeat doing the same?

Ya Allah. I am trying being mature myself but people keep bangkang my points. They thought they are so right, in fact I can say, NO! Mereka cakap ikut perasaan. That is why I do not like being angry.
Nanti Kit cakap sy cakap ikut perasaan.

Baba masuk, gtg...
sambung-ing....